The first bit of advice that Rehoboam got on how to treat people is still good advice today. Let’s not decline it like he did.

3 min read

Is it just me, or are folks a little more grumpy these days? It seems that more and more we are seeing adults act out at the slightest provocation. Maybe something goes wrong at the restaurant or on the job and then, just like that, it escalates into a confrontation.

Or, maybe a constructive comment is offered online to a business owner but rather than humbly receiving it, he lashes out. The conversation quickly degenerates into a virtual sparring session.

Where’s the grace? Where’s the courtesy?

But lest we think the rise in rudeness is only a recent phenomenon, in reality it has been around for a very long time. Like all human brokenness, the origin of human hostility can be traced way back to the Fall. Even before industrialization and advancements of modern technology, when life was more quiet and simple, people still struggled to be kind.

The Bible tells of a young man by the name of Rehoboam, son of Solomon, who is a case study in the perils of rudeness. As a young man, he asked for advice on how to treat the people in his kingdom. He got two different perspectives. The older and more experienced men said to him,

‘If you are good to these people and do your best to please them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your loyal subjects.’ 2 Chronicles 10:7

We could sum up the advice of the sages with three redemptive f-words:

1. Be friendly.
2. Be fair.
3. Speak favorably.

What these older gentleman encouraged Rehoboam to do was simply to treat the people under him and around him as people – not as subjects. As Jesus put it, we should treat others the way we want to be treated. No wonder they call it the Golden Rule.

And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.

-Jesus, Luke 6:31

But unfortunately, the good advice went unheeded. Rehoboam went a different direction. He listened to the second group, the younger but inexperienced advisers who told him the best approach was to be harsh and overbearing to the people (2 Chronicles 10:8-11). Bad idea. Rehoboam acted on the advice and it broke his nation in two. His lack of grace marked the beginning of a long and bitter divide.

A Window of Opportunity

Those of us who identify as followers of Jesus have a real opportunity to let our light shine right now by how we treat people. Sure, for most of us life is acutely challenging for one reason or another. We all have circumstances pressing on us. We all have irritants of some kind that don’t make it easy for us to put our best foot forward.

But as Christians we have the opportunity to be renewed inwardly no matter how diminished we may become due to life situations. God’s grace is a bottomless reservoir…free refills all day and every day for those who seek it. This means we can be graceful (full of grace) even when there seems to be a shortage of grace in society.

As you may have noticed, rudeness begets more rudeness. But thankfully, grace also begets more grace. So don’t let the rudeness claim you. Be friendly. Be fair. Speak favorably.

Welcome back, courtesy. We sure missed you.

It’s a new day with God. Run with it.